Here's the truth about Jerry's girlfriends on Seinfeld... they didn't last long. This also includes Julia Louis-Dreyfus' Eliane, who most people forget actually dated the main character. We don't blame you if this fact slipped your mind. After all, Eliane spent the vast majority of her time on Seinfeld just being part of the crew.
What's nice about best-buddies Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld's show is that they didn't make the lead female a love interest. Just like Jerry, George, and Kramer, Eliane was meeting new guys and breaking up with them for somewhat shallow reasons.
That was part of the show. And it was awesome.
But why exactly did she break things off with Jerry before the show started? The truth is, Seinfeld spends very little time going into this. We actually learn more about why they should never get back together versus why they ended things to begin with.
While there are many Seinfeld theories about this and other things, Arielle Kaplan at the fantastic website Alma did some digging and wrote a little article about why Eliane actually broke things off with all of her love interests, including Jerry.
Let's take a look...
The Main Reason Why Eliane Benes Broke Up With Jerry Seinfeld
One of the things that Arielle Kaplan skillfully notes in her article on Alma is just how blasé Eliane was toward men. She doesn't care about serious relationships. She cares more about herself... not unlike the rest of the somewhat narcissistic characters on the hilarious sitcom. Sure, she might suffer from some intimacy problems but none of that is particularly entertaining to delve into so Seinfeld co-creators Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld stayed away from that. Instead, they focused on the funny.
Even though she might be momentarily smitten with a man, she always finds a "but". And that "but" is almost always downright funny. So, what was her "but" with Jerry?
In the world of Seinfeld, Jerry is Eliane's first known serious boyfriend. While we know next to nothing about why she broke things off with him, Arielle Kaplan did remind us of a few things.
Mainly... she wasn't happy with Jerry in the bedroom.
In the Season Five episode of Seinfeld called "The Mango" (where Jerry and Kramer find that a specific mango gives them sexual confidence), Eliane reveals the main reason why she and Jerry never worked out. And this is because Jerry could never finish Eliane during their private encounters. Turns out Eliane faked it every single time and she just had enough of doing it.
Of course, this only encouraged Jerry to try and get Eliane to give him one more chance in the bedroom. After all, his manhood was in question.
Still, There Was Always Chemistry Between Them
While Jerry and Eliane did hook up once or twice during the course of Seinfeld, most of the time they were just best friends. Still, it's undeniable that there was some chemistry between them. However, most of this appeared to be on Jerry's end and there's a very specific reason for this.
"Shiksa appeal"
For those who don't know, a "shiksa" is a woman who isn't Jewish and a lot of Jewish men (like Jerry) are attracted to them... Mostly because they don't remind them of their mothers.
In the episode "Serenity Now" in the final season of the show, George explains the notion to Eliane who seems to be driving a number of Jewish men wild. Even Jerry gets reminded of Eliane's shiksa appeal and proposes to her in a weak moment... She, of course, brushes it off in the most hilarious way possible.
It's clear that Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld never intended for Eliane and Jerry to end up together at the end of Seinfeld. This is because they didn't want the show to be all neat and tidy. And they definitely didn't want any big romances. After all, romances didn't fit into their comedic show model of "No hugging. No learning." They absolutely didn't want the show to become a "vehicle for moral instruction". It was just about making people laugh in a way that's never quite been done before.
Even in the finale, when the plane is going down, Eliane almost admits that she loves Jerry... In most shows, this would have been the moment when the "Will they? Won't they?" would finally be resolved... But not in Sinefled... Oh no!
Eliane's emotional revelation quickly goes away once they feel the plane leveling off. In short, only in life or death moments do these fantastically narcissistic characters ever admit true emotions or care for one another.
Honestly, we're glad to see two hilarious people of the opposite sex just be friends instead of a romance being forced between them for the sake of storytelling.