Troubled and disturbing are probably the most used words to describe Marilyn Manson's controversial life and relationships. Born Brian Warner, he grew up in a dysfunctional family that prompted him to escape into his "fake world" that is his heavy metal rock star persona. The teenage angst and borderline psychopathy in his music show that Manson has always carried the weight of those first eighteen years of his life.

Growing up, The Beautiful People singer had to serve as his father's "placeholder" at home because he was always away for work. His mom Barbara Wyer would even call him by his dad's name, causing him to lash out at her. In addition to that, his grandfather was alleged of being into bestiality. Manson's social life as a kid wasn't great either. He was sent to a Christian school which he obviously detested and was beaten up by other kids who thought he was gay.

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The effects of these experiences and some of Manson's reflections about them are etched seamlessly into his music's darkness. Around 2015, the Sweet Dreams singer went through some sort of midlife crisis brought on by his mother's passing the year before (on Mother's Day). It gave fans Cupid Carries a Gun and Odds of Even, the two last tracks on his album The Pale Emperor. During that time, he finally revealed the truth about his relationship with his mother. Here's what we found out.

Inside Manson's Troubled Relationship With His Mother

"My father was working all the time. I had to become this homunculus of sorts for my mother. And then I wanted to get away from it. I became his placeholder. My mother would even call me by his name," Marilyn Manson told The Guardian. "And you’re full of testosterone and pissed off and you don’t want to be called your dad’s name, especially when you don’t even know where the fuck he is." Manson's father Hugh Warner, who passed away in 2017, was a Vietnam veteran.

Manson had to take over his father's role in his mother's life at such a young age. It's a heavy burden to carry when you're in your formative years. No wonder the singer-actor held a deep resentment towards his mother. He's also aware, however, that the entire family was just victim to the aftermath of violence. A few months after his mother died, his father visited him and told him a little about how it felt to have killed so many people.

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"When he showed up at my house I had Apocalypse Now on the projector on my wall paused right there when he walked in, which was awkward. I didn't plan that," Manson described the moment. "And he walked in and he saw this and said: This brings up a lot of mixed emotions for me.' And I said: 'Good or bad?' And he said: 'Well, when people talk about post-traumatic stress syndrome I don’t think people understand that when you’ve killed so many people and then you have to come back to a normal world, it’s very difficult to adjust to it.'"

Manson was able to have some kind of closure from that conversation. He's accepted that his father was simply selected to do a job that he was good at. It just so happened to be killing people. The Disposable Teens singer also knew that it must have been tough for his father to enter the air force at 17, not knowing where his life was going to go. And that explains Manson's fascination with disturbing themes such as killing.

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How His Mother's Death Changed Him

In the few years leading up to her death, Barbara Wyer developed Alzheimer's. "I'd made my peace with her the year before, though she didn’t really know who I was," Manson said. That inspired huge changes in the rock star's life. "It was… like I say, I wanted to buy a house. And what brought that on was that right before I had to fly to Ohio and see my father because my mother died."

Of course, his intimate conversation with his dad brought on by his mother's passing also answered some of his unanswered questions. Manson said that it was the first time his dad had ever told him about what his work was like. He also admitted that having children started crossing his mind. "It's more like passing on your legacy. You know, I’m the last man in the family, because I don’t have any siblings. So yeah, that is something that I actually have been thinking about."

Six years later, and with all the controversies he's facing, it's interesting to know whether Marilyn Manson still feels the same way about having children someday...

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