The internet is a pretty intense place to be these days. The 24-hour news cycle and round-the-clock connectedness ensure that when there's a story, everyone is gonna be talking about it. And because celebrities aren't people we know in real life, it's easy to feel like they are fair game when it comes to poking fun at their lives and their choices. Whenever we hear the news of the latest celebrity baby arrival, the internet piles on to weigh in about the choice of name, and if it's anything but completely ordinary? Oh boy. Get ready to be the subject of the news for two whole days!
Hopefully the children of these celebrities are pretty good-natured about their names by now, but some of these names are too wild to not at least share. We're sure they're good people, and we promise we won't be too mean...but we can laugh a little bit right? Softly, to ourselves? Here are 10 baby names that got celebrities mercilessly roasted on the internet.
10 Apple
By now we know that Gwyneth Paltrow can't do anything normally, so why would we expect her to pick a normal kids' name? Her daughter, whose dad is Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, is named Apple Martin, which got the couple roasted endlessly at the time. It seems like just yesterday, but Apple Martin is 16 years old!
9 Banjo
Rachel Griffiths and Andrew Taylor couldn't resist the chance to do something different and pick a unique name for their son. We have no doubt that Banjo Patrick Taylor had any trouble standing out in kindergarten and grade school - it's not like there any other Banjos in the class!
8 Billion
Rick Ross welcomed a son in 2018 with his longtime girlfriend Briana Camille, and the name they chose is exactly how many roasts they got on the internet for it: Billion. The reaction tweets were a hilarious sight to behold, with fans confused and exasperated at the growing trend of bizarre celebrity baby names.
7 Seven
Okay, we knew Erykah Badu and Andre 3000 would never name a kid anything even remotely ordinary. Their son is named Seven - yep, you read that right. Seven was born in 1997, so that's the inspiration...we guess...? Erykah Badu and Andre 3000 split up a long time ago, but they co-parent peacefully and have always been utterly devoted to their son and proud of him.
6 Blue Ivy
Even seemingly untouchable industry giants like Beyonce and Jay-Z were subject to criticism when they chose "Blue Ivy" for their first daughter's name. The internet took them to task, expressing disdain for the name choice. Beyonce has spoken on how they chose that name, and it turns out it's a tribute to Jay-Z’s three Blueprint albums - hence, Blue. Ivy comes from the roman numeral IV, Beyoncé’s favorite number, probably related to the fact that her birthday is September 4th.
5 Royal Reign
Lil' Kim landed herself on almost every 'worst baby name' list on the internet list when she named her daughter Royal Reign in 2014. Hopefully Lil' Kim is raising her little girl to be more down-to-earth than her name suggests, otherwise the world might have a serious diva on its hands!
4 Bluebell Madonna
Better known as Ginger Spice, Geri Halliwell named her daughter Bluebell Madonna in 2006, and even though the internet wasn't as extensive then as it is now, don't worry, she's gotten on all the bad baby name lists retroactively. When she had a son a decade later with her husband Christian Horner, she apparently hadn't gotten the weird name energy out yet. Her son's name is Montague, a fact that will no doubt plague him with a lifetime of people asking, "Like Romeo and Juliet???"
3 Bronx Mowgli
Remember Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz? In 2004, they were some of the biggest names on our TV screens and radio waves, but these days they've pretty much faded from the spotlight, busy with co-parenting duties despite divorcing in 2011. Their son, born in 2008, the same year they were married, is named Bronx Mowgli, a combination so strange we can't even begin to guess how they decided to put those two together. Hopefully Bronx has a good nickname by now!
2 Jermajesty
Jermaine Jackson really took the cake when he named his son Jer--- sorry, we can't even say it with a straight face --- Jerma---nope. Jermajesty. There, we did it. The 20-year-old is living in Los Angeles and carving out a name for himself in the music industry rather than relying on his family's legacy, so at least it hasn't held him back, but we hope he wasn't teased in school the way he was teased on the internet.
1 Diva Thin Muffin
Diva Thin Muffin landed a lucky lot in life in that she was born to cultural icon Frank Zappa, but unluckily for her, he gave her a pretty rough go of it when he chose to name her Diva...Thin...Muffin. Where do celebs even come up with this stuff? Nowadays she has a moderately successful acting career. She didn't change her name when she turned 18, so...she must have been okay with it. Diva Thin Muffin, we salute you.