Three Strikes: 20 Mess-Ups That Could Cost Her The Relationship

No relationship is free of mistakes. Even the most seasoned girlfriends and boyfriends among us have messed up in the past, and we will mess up again in the future. That’s part of human nature, unfortunately! But if we’re not careful, we could end up making mistakes that jeopardize the entire relationship for good.

In most cases, it’s not the kind of mistake we make that brings about an end to the relationship, but whether or not we learn from the past. A self-respecting person is less likely to stick around in a relationship if their partner keeps making the same mistakes over and over again and never changes their ways.

Of course, there are some mess-ups that tend to leave more of an impact than others. And if we keep them up for long enough, they have the potential to drive our significant other away. Things like disrespecting our partner in public, trying to control them, forgetting to appreciate them, and clinging onto them too tightly can all have the power to make our relationship crumble from the inside.

But that's not the worst of it. What other mess-ups can lead to the demise of a relationship? Keep reading to find out!

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20 Always Criticizing Her Partner

Vanity Fair

Criticizing your partner too much could end up putting serious stress on your relationship. This is really a no-brainer—nobody likes being criticized, and if that’s something that happens a lot between you, your partner might end up wondering whether it’s really worth sticking around.

Remember that there’s a difference between constructive criticism and constantly picking on someone for your own reasons. While it’s good to be honest and provide feedback that will help your partner in the long run, it’s not the best idea to criticize without being asked and without any tact. Try to keep the criticism to a minimum!

19 Acting Like She’s Single


Life can be funny—some of us spend our whole lives looking for a relationship, and then once we have one, we act like we’re single again! Acting like you’re single is definitely a mistake that can cost you your relationship if you’re not careful.

We’re not saying that you can’t have any freedom when you’re in a relationship, but there are certain behaviors that are unfitting of someone who has a boyfriend or girlfriend. Things like flirting with everyone you meet, constant bar and club hopping, and forgetting to remember your partner in your decisions can all lead to a lot of resentment.

18 Avoiding Telling The Truth

TV Insider

Some relationship experts believe that there are some lies we should tell in a relationship, mostly because the truth would be more detrimental than the lie. But in most cases, honesty is the best policy. Too many lies, or lying about something that ends up being really serious, can mean the end of your relationship.

The problem with lies is that they come between the trust that you and your partner are supposed to have for each other. You can’t trust someone who always lies to you, and you can’t be in a healthy relationship with someone you don’t trust.

17 Becoming Too Obsessed With Her Partner

Pretty 52

You don’t want to forget all about your partner and act like you’re single again, but at the same time, getting to a point where you’re too obsessed with your partner isn’t a good idea either. This can make your other half feel like they have no room to breathe, even if you have the very best intentions.

It’s important to still maintain your own life and sense of self independent of them. Not only will that give you both a little more space in the relationship, but it’s also better for your own wellbeing to not be completely dependent and attached to someone else.

16 Letting Her Insecurities Get In The Way

The New York Times

We all have insecurities, so don’t feel bad about yours! While being insecure doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t be able to hold onto a relationship, it can if you let your insecurities get in the way of things.

This can manifest in a number of ways, but for example, letting your insecurities win might look like being openly paranoid that your partner is going to betray you, even when you’ve got no concrete evidence. Or refusing to let your partner have female friends because you are scared that they will leave you for them. You can feel insecure from time to time, but don’t let it consume you and affect your decisions.

15 Disrespecting Her Partner (Especially In Front Of People)


If respect goes out the window, then your whole relationship has a high chance of following suit. Disrespecting your partner will probably make them feel really uncomfortable and unsafe around you and might lead to retaliation or aggression. In most cases, your partner will end up resenting you if you do it often enough.

What’s worse than disrespecting them is disrespecting them in front of other people, since you also make them look silly and embarrass them in front of their friends or family. This isn’t a mistake you want to make, and if you do accidentally do it, the best thing to do is apologize.

14 Refusing To Make An Effort With Their Family


Nobody said relationships were easy. A lot of effort goes into keeping up a relationship, and that includes the work that goes into gaining the approval of the family. If you refuse to make an effort with your partner’s family, it could lead them to think that they don’t actually matter that much to you.

There are probably a lot of people who dislike spending time with their partner’s family, but they do it for the sake of their partner because they care about them. Of course, you’re not obligated to make an effort with people who don’t deserve it, but it’s still something to think about.

13 Never Meeting Them Half Way


Here’s another reason why relationships aren’t easy: they’re all about compromise. A healthy relationship doesn’t look like one person getting what they want all the time and the other person having to make sacrifice after sacrifice. If your relationship looks like that, you might be heading for a split.

Instead, you should be meeting each other halfway. Both parties in a relationship should offer to compromise and give up certain things to cater to their partner. Compromise is always a two-way street, and if it becomes one-way, then at least one person in the relationship is likely to find it hard work.

12 Nagging Rather Than Letting Them Live


Nagging is such an easy habit to slip into. Sometimes, we don’t even realize we’re doing it when we nag, because we honestly have the other person’s best interest at heart. But if you’re not careful and you turn into a chronic nagger, it could turn your partner right off.

People who nag sound like broken records and continuously say the same thing without ever really listening to the feedback they get. It can be difficult when you’re so emotionally invested in the relationship, but try to let your partner make their own decisions and mistakes rather than picking at them.

11 Playing Mind Games With Her Partner


Past high school, nobody has time for mind games. If they play a serious part in your relationship, your partner might already be thinking about calling it quits. There is a range of games that people tend to play in relationships, mostly to establish power over the other person.

It might involve never answering their phone but being active on social media, or lying about their true feelings, or going out of their way to appear unavailable. Relationships that feature a lot of these things never last, because few people have the patience to put up with them for very long.

10 Never Giving Them The Space They Need

Marie Claire

Even the most loved-up couples need space from each other every once in a while. No matter how strongly you feel about each other, it’s healthy to have a little time apart. We all need space to be ourselves and do the things that we can’t really do around another person, and denying your partner that space could really frustrate them.

It’s better to give them the space they need rather than to suffocate them with your presence and in doing so push them away. People who need space usually become emotionally distant or might even start spending less time around you without explaining why.

9 Always Blaming Them For Everything That Goes Wrong


Even if one person puts more effort into the relationship than the other, there are usually faults on both sides when it comes to relationship problems. Rarely is one party entirely innocent in every issue that arises between two people. Always blaming your partner for every little thing isn’t a good idea and is likely to push them away from you.

Firstly, it’s annoying to constantly be blamed for things, especially when you didn’t do them. Secondly, if you can’t admit when you’re wrong, you can come off looking really immature, which could also turn your partner off and have them running in the other direction.

8 Being Too Afraid To Argue


On one side of the scale, you don’t want to blame your partner for every little thing that goes wrong. And on the other end, you don’t want to turn into a doormat by taking responsibility for everything either. Some people accept all the blame, even when it’s not their fault, because they don’t like to argue.

Unfortunately, though, arguments are another inevitable part of all relationships. Just because you argue, it doesn’t mean your relationship is in turmoil. The opposite is true, actually! Healthy couples air their problems with each other and work through them. Unhealthy couples suppress.

7 Being Passive-Aggressive Instead Of Assertive


If you’re not an overly confident person or you don’t like arguing with your partner, you might end up being passive-aggressive instead of assertive. And most people find that incredibly frustrating! Being passive-aggressive includes making snarky comments that are intended to offend but don’t directly state how you’re feeling. It can also be rolling your eyes and slamming doors but then telling your partner that you’re fine.

Being assertive, on the other hand, is acknowledging your emotions and making them known in a mature way, without being aggressive. It is almost always more effective (and less annoying!) to be assertive.

6 Never Appreciating Her Partner


Something as simple as forgetting to appreciate your partner can end up contributing to the demise of your relationship. If you forget to say thank you one time, it probably won’t make a lot of difference. But if you never acknowledge your partner, never thank them for what they do, never tell them how you feel about them and how you’re grateful for them in your life, they could grow to resent you.

We all want to be appreciated, so it never hurts to tell them how much you love having them around. Forget “treat them mean, keep them keen” and make them actually want to stay with you.

5 Acting Entitled To Things In The Relationship


Acting entitled is never a good look, and in the context of a relationship, it could even be the difference between love that lasts and love that fades away. Acting entitled might be described as the opposite of showing appreciation.

An entitled person doesn’t thank their partner for making them dinner because they think it’s their partner’s job. They don’t tell their partner that they appreciate them because they think their partner will always be there for them. Being entitled rather than appreciative is an effective way to push your partner straight out the door rather than enhancing the harmony between you two.

4 Not Supporting Her Partner When They Need It


People who love each other support each other, no questions asked. They back each other up in front of other people, they speak positively about each other when the other partner is not around, and they have each other’s backs through anything.

If you’re not supporting your partner when they really need it, they might be inclined to go and find someone who can. When you’re not getting support from someone else, then you may as well be by yourself, so they might even prefer being single to staying in the relationship. Offering support in a relationship doesn’t have to be difficult, but it does make all the difference.

3 Not Really Listening To Them

Vogue Australia

Listening is a huge part of being committed to someone. Two people who never listen to each other probably won’t last a long time together, and if they do, there’s a good chance they won’t be overly happy. Communication is important in all relationships, and if you can’t listen, then there’s a big rift in the communication between the two of you.

Listening means not just hearing what they say, but absorbing it and remembering it. If they have to tell you the same thing over and over and you never remember, it might just show that you don’t care as much as you say you do.

2 Keeping Them From Their Friends


Friendships are important and don’t just dissolve because you’re in a relationship. All healthy humans need friendship in some form, so keeping your partner from seeing their friends never ends well. The most likely scenario will be that they’ll realize you’re being unfair and will want out of the relationship if you don’t change your ways.

But it could also have negative effects on their mental health, and make them feel really isolated. Unless you have a really good reason (along the lines of life or death!), it’s not a good idea to come between someone and their close friends.

1 Trying To Control Them

A Part Magaine

Trying to control someone often has the opposite effect—the more you try to box someone in, the more they tend to go against you. If you try to control your partner in terms of who they see, what they do, what they wear, and where they go, the chances of a happy ending aren’t high.

They’ll crave their freedom, and before long will probably tell you they want out of the relationship. Even if you have the best intentions, it’s a good idea to keep in mind that your partner is their own person, and they need to be responsible for their own decisions.

Sources: The Every Girl, Woman's Day

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