At this stage of the Harry Potter series, we know exactly how to get our Hogwarts Houses. Long before Pottermore gave us an official way to be sorted, we would just read the books, watch the movies, and take fan-made personality quizzes to figure out where we'd go. Then the test came out, and the Ilvermorny test after that, so now when people want to know what house they belong in, they go there and find out.
However, before there were Pottermore tests, all we really had to go on was our gut, and reading and watching everything to see what Hogwarts House resonated with us the most.
Some of these Tumblr posts go the route of looking at the books, movies and going from what we learn from there. That's all well and good, but some of the funniest Tumblr content in the Harry Potter fandom comes from the simple question of how to figure out our Hogwarts House based on super random things. Chances are you'll recognize yourselves in some of these posts. With that, here are 15 Tumblr posts that are straight up real about what makes us a Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin.
15 When Presented With A Locked Door, What Do You Do?
Sometimes the difference between all four Hogwarts Houses is just figuring out what you'd do when presented with a very simple problem, like a locked door.
If you're a person who prefers to charge into situations head-on, you're probably the Gryffindor type who'd knock it down. If you're a person who prefers to analyze situations, you'd probably try and find the key like a Ravenclaw would do. A Slytherin type would probably find themselves picking the lock. Meanwhile, Hufflepuffs would take the time to knock to see if someone would answer before proceeding to do any of the other things because that's just what makes sense to them. None of these solutions are necessarily wrong (unless you're breaking into something because that's a crime), they just show how differently people can think.
14 What School Is Like, According To The Hogwarts Student Population
Different people tend to think about school in different ways. Maybe you're a person who tends to see school as a test of certain skills people have or might not have, like a Hufflepuff or even a Ravenclaw would.
Chances are if you're a Ravenclaw, though, you're more likely to see school as a test of your rote memory rather than your actual intelligence. As a Gryffindor, you might see school as a test of how bored you can get in a short (or long!) period of time. As a Slytherin, you might find your patience tested by the people around you in school. This is a good example of how different Hogwarts House perspectives can show themselves in the same post and you can totally tell who's who. Like, there's no way you'd confuse those people. This also goes to show how recognizable certain Hogwarts house traits are these days.
13 Hogwarts Houses As Cinnamon Rolls... Is Anyone Else Hungry?
Cinnamon rolls are delicious. Maybe you're the type who likes to buy their cinnamon rolls from a restaurant or a store selling them, like Cinnabon or IKEA.
(On a related note, IKEA makes the most delicious cinnamon rolls I've ever had that weren't homemade. Don't ask any questions, just buy cinnamon rolls from IKEA.)
Maybe you're the type who can only eat them homemade. That being said, cinnamon rolls have evolved from just being a super sweet treat: people are actually referred to as cinnamon rolls now to denote how nice of a person they are.
In the case of this post, it just goes to show how some people use the sweet part of their personality. Maybe you're a Hufflepuff and are always sweet. Maybe you're a Ravenclaw and you use your outer sweetness to disguise your inner core of scariness. Maybe you're a Gryffindor who looks like a scary person but is really sweet deep down. Or maybe you're a Slytherin and you're always scary. Regardless, there are two types of people: cinnamon rolls and people who could kill you.
12 Why Do We Do Dumb Things, Anyway?
Everyone is capable of doing dumb things. (Yes, you too, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, this isn't just a Gryffindor or Slytherin thing.) The difference between all four Hogwarts Houses, according to Tumblr posts like these, is the reason why people do dumb things.
Gryffindors tend to do dumb things because it's fun; it'll make a good story, or on a more serious note because it's the only way they can see to go forward. Slytherins will do dumb things kind of out of spite; they don't like being told what to do and will make things happen regardless of what others say. Ravenclaws will want to prove something or make some kind of a point, and if they have to do something dumb to make it happen, so be it. Hufflepuffs tend to do dumb things because the people around them are doing it and it just makes sense to have someone practical along to make sure no one gets hurt.
11 What's The Motto? What's The Motto With You?
We hear a lot about the different philosophies of every Hogwarts House, to the point that we all tend to know what house we're talking about when we rattle off certain traits that the house values. However, across all seven books, those traits can boil down to a few simple phrases that the Sorting Hat could have said every year instead of the poems it normally rattles off with. Gryffindors, for example, can be summed up by talking about their occasional bouts of recklessness and how brave they can be in the face of adversity. Slytherins could be summed up by their undeniable privilege in the Wizarding World despite the hugely unfavorable reputation they have in the school, showing their ambition. Ravenclaws can be summed up not by their intelligence, but by their analytical abilities, the way they put their mind to something. Meanwhile, Hufflepuffs can be defined by their kindness and their savagery when their loved ones are threatened.
10 How To Tell What Hogwarts House You Are On Tumblr According To Existing Tumblr Content
Tumblr is famous for single sentence posts despite not being Twitter or having a character count users need to stick to. However, there's just something about these single sentence posts that people on the site see themselves in, which is why they tend to spread so fast.
Depending on the kind of person you are or where you fall on the Hogwarts House spectrum, certain posts will jump out at you more than others.
If you're a Gryffindor, you might see yourself going to reblog posts that show your comfort with confrontation. If you're a person who has a lot of ambition and isn't interested in simple goals other people around you are, you might reblog stuff more like a Slytherin. The sweeter posts might be reblogged more by Hufflepuffs and the ones involving reminiscing or using your brain might get reblogged more by Ravenclaws.
9 House Descriptions With Sass, Featuring Gryffindor
There's probably a reason why Gryffindor ends up being the house we focus so much on and where some of the more extroverted characters tend to end up. That's just because Gryffindors tend to act like they're the center of the universe instead of part of Hogwarts as a whole. They're the type who can talk about themselves and you won't know if they're being upfront or if they're bragging, but that just kind of adds to their charm. They tend to want to make friends easily and want to prioritize all their relationships equally, which is why everyone is "their fam."
From what we can tell from the books, Gryffindors also tend to be the ones dominating conversations. Maybe there's a reason J.K. Rowling put most of the main characters in Gryffindor; because it allowed them to be the dominating characters she felt she needed to tell the story.
8 House Descriptions With Sass, Featuring Ravenclaw
We don't see a lot of Ravenclaws in the story; the ones we really get to know are Luna, Cho, and a few others. That being said, this house tends to make a good impression because of Ravenclaw's focus on intelligence. Many a kid who started reading Harry Potter started reading it because they liked the idea of being in the "smart house." However, there's more to being a Ravenclaw than simple intelligence. Ravenclaw is the Hogwarts House where individuality is the most celebrated and lots of different people can come together to talk about basically whatever they want. It's honestly really nice to see that kind of thing these days. Ravenclaws pride themselves on being themselves all the time, but more than that, this house is the type to pride themselves on being the most informed and being prepared for every situation.
7 House Descriptions With Sass, Featuring Hufflepuff
Hufflepuffs, more than any other Hogwarts House, are the ones who are always living drama free. Unlike the other three houses in the HP series, Hufflepuff kind of stays out of the fray because they want to keep working at what they're doing and sort of protect their community.
While this post shows Hufflepuffs are the ones who eat the most, since their common room is by the kitchen, there's a lot more to this house than that. This is the house that values hard work the most. They believe in fairness and not taking the easy road if doing the harder thing is doing the right thing. A great example of this is when Cedric Diggory, the one major Hufflepuff still in school when Harry is in the story, asks to have his Snitch disqualified during an important game in the third book because he didn't know Harry had fallen off his broom. He then shared the Triwizard Tournament victory with Harry because Harry had saved his life and it was fair to do that.
Unfortunately, we all know how that one went. *single teardrop."
6 House Descriptions With Sass, Featuring Slytherin
Slytherins are actually a lot more like Hufflepuffs than even Slytherins and Hufflepuffs are willing to admit. Both signs are defined by being really loyal to people. The difference is that Slytherins tend to be loyal to their people while Hufflepuffs are loyal to all people.
Slytherins tend to be shown in the series as "the bad guys" or the ones who "don't care about people" and only care about themselves, but that's honestly not the case at all.
Think about how the Malfoy family tends to look down on people who aren't in their circle, but how obvious it is that each and every Malfoy cares about their people. Think about how Pansy Parkinson would do anything for Draco and the other Slytherins but had no problem giving up Harry in the seventh book because it meant keeping her people safe. Honestly, Slytherins have a bad reputation in the series, but I can't think of a Hogwarts House that deserves that the least. It's been Tumblr that found that out.
5 The Laser Toast Litmus Test
For those who aren't super hip to mid-aughts movie adaptations of gargantuan works of science fiction, this is a GIF from the movie The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It is one of my personal favorite films and you can see A-listers in it during a time just before they became household names. The bread is being cut with a special knife that makes toast as the bread is being cut — super cool, right?
The reason why this post is relevant is that different people reacted to this in different ways. The Gryffindor in this post had the gut reaction of wanting to see what would happen if you stabbed someone because they're the type to come up with a crazy idea and try to make it happen. The Ravenclaw pointed out the flaws in that plan, and the Slytherin adapted based on the new information. Meanwhile, the Hufflepuff is in the corner, wondering why the toast isn't the focus here.
4 Gryffindor vs. Slytherin: The Door Slam Test
The books and movies tend to treat Gryffindor and Slytherin like totally different houses where the people have nothing in common, but that couldn't be further from the truth. In reality, Gryffindor and Slytherin are getting more of a focus here because they're so similar. Gryffindors are the type to confront a situation head on and be this unstoppable force, while Slytherins are content to adapt to situations and wait for the right moment to strike. The difference is that a Gryffindor would distance themselves from people over their beliefs, like how the Weasleys took a lot of distance from Percy and vice versa when he chose to stick by the Ministry for the sake of his career. Meanwhile, a Slytherin like Narcissa Malfoy would absolutely let her beliefs fall by the wayside for the sake of her family, like when she let Harry live so she could find her son.
3 More Tumblr Text Posts
While some Tumblr text posts are really funny and have us going "lol same," there are some short text posts that have us really sitting down and thinking about our place in the world or whether we can make a difference in life.
As always, however, the things that really have us sitting down and thinking are different depending on the kind of person you are, and more to the point, the kind of Hogwarts students you'd be. As a Gryffindor, you'd probably be a person who sees the dysfunction in the world and wants to jump in to help, but wants the resources to do so the way you want to. As a Hufflepuff, you might find yourself overwhelmed by all the things you want to do and all the ways in which the world isn't ready for it. As a Ravenclaw, you might look back at how far you've come and realized that you still have so far to go and things aren't as easy as they used to be. As a Slytherin, you might size up your own abilities and find yourself coming up short despite all evidence to the contrary.
2 The Best House Challenges From Spirit Week, Brought To You By Tumblr
Let's be real, just because J.K. Rowling didn't write about Spirit Week at Hogwarts, doesn't mean that Spirit Week didn't happen. However, while Hogwarts, in general, might have some school spirit events, the real school spirit would be the friendly competition between all four Hogwarts houses. Gryffindors would probably celebrate their Spirit Week with a dumb challenge that comes with a lot of risks, but will immortalize the person who actually manages to do it. Ravenclaws would probably do something dangerous to their own health but not necessarily something over the top, like try and stay awake for days at a time or something to that effect. Slytherins would probably just attempt to weird everyone else out by doing or saying something low-key but really strange. Meanwhile, Hufflepuffs would make a personal challenge out of being even nicer than they normally are. They'd probably do all of these things as a regular challenge anyway, but it would be heightened at Hogwarts Spirit Week.
1 Studying, According To Every Hogwarts House
For a series about a magical wizarding school, the characters really don't spend a ton of time in class. We see enough of their schooling to get the jist of their classes, but we don't necessarily see anyone studying unless it's a plot-point. However, thanks to what we do see, Tumblr has managed to pinpoint the study habits of all four houses. Ravenclaws probably wouldn't need to worry so much about studying because they can work out the answers on the day of the test without too much fuss, or they just have the memory to recall everything without needing extra time.
Hufflepuffs would probably take pride in taking that extra time if it's a subject they like and they'd need to put in the time for a subject they don't, and they'd value the act of studying a bit more than most. Slytherins would probably try to cut as many corners as they can to get the best score, while Gryffindors might panic if they feel unprepared but charge through studying to get through it as fast as possible.