Doesn't everyone just love surprises? I’m speaking, of course, in terms of presents. When it comes to learning about one's fiancé, the last thing they want is a surprise. Being engaged is supposed to be an exciting time. However, it’s also a time when people start to think about everything they are going to be missing out on. Whether it involves missing out on a lesbian experience, finding out their fiancé doesn’t want to have kids, or getting engaged to a mama’s boy, there are always things that we wish we would have known about or done before getting engaged. Nevertheless, thanks to the users of the Whisper app, we are able to see just how important it is to get to know the person you are getting engaged to, and the importance of living without regrets. Here are 15 things couples wish they knew or did before getting engaged.
15 New Experiences And Drug Tests
It’s totally normal to start feeling regrets when you first get engaged. Not that I have ever been engaged, but it seems to be the norm. You probably start thinking “now that I’m engaged, I’m not going to be able to do the things that I always wanted to do.” Sure, you may be right in some respect, but it’s a trade-off. Do you get engaged and marry the love of your life? Or do you call it off and go live out your wildest dreams. Now that I think about it, living out my wildest dreams sounds pretty good. For all of you engaged couples, look on the bright side. There are tons of new things you will be experiencing now that you are going to get married. And now you have a partner to experience those things with.
Side note: just because you're engaged does not mean your life is over and you can't still live our your wildest dreams. It just means now you have a partner who can chase those dreams with you.
14 Hooking Up
There seems to be a prevalent theme among things people wish they experienced before getting engaged. And that one theme is hooking up. Did you really experience everything you wanted to experience? Have you experienced all of the people you had wished to experience? Unfortunately, no matter how many (or few) people you have been with, you will always get this feeling. That’s just the way it is. Hopefully, once these two crazy kids get married, this person will stop having second thoughts and they will start doing it more than once a month. Sex will always come and go in a relationship, but once it fades—or there are shadows of regret—it can tear a marriage apart.
I hope this person speaks about their concerns and works on their sex life to fulfill that void in their life.
13 No Kids
The last thing anyone wants after getting engaged is to have a bomb dropped on them. Just when you think that you have person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you find out something that you wish you would have known earlier. That’s a pretty scary feeling.
If your fiancé wants kids, but you don’t, what do you do in this sort of situation? This is one of the biggest, if not the biggest, decisions that you can make in your life. This is even something that can lead to, dare I say, divorce. I will agree that this is definitely something that should have been discussed. Nevertheless, you can’t let this ruin everything. Someone is going to have to give in because if there is one thing The Princess Bride taught us, it's that true love is the greatest thing in the world—except for a nice MLT—mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.
12 Ring Envy
You know what they say, diamonds are forever. So it would only make sense that the woman on the receiving end of the engagement ring wants the biggest and the best. No one else is going to spend more time wearing it or more time looking at it than the person wearing it, so you ultimately want to love it.
Ring regret is a very real and serious thing. Granted I just coined that term, but I feel that this is absolutely relatable. Moreover, the general rule when it comes to engagement rings is that it should cost three months’ salary. So in terms of price, you really aren’t going to get a much better ring than the one you already have. I just hope that this girl doesn’t do anything irrational.
11 Wedding Plans
I would just like to start things off by saying that yes, everybody knows that women go a little overboard (or a lot overboard) when planning for their wedding. Every girl has been planning their wedding since they were young enough to remember. Heck, there’s even a show called Bridezillas. So if everyone knows just how crazy some women get about their weddings, the fact that this next guy actually called off his wedding because his fiancé was acting so crazy with the wedding planning tells you just how truly crazy this girl must have been. Just think about that for a second. This person actually called off the wedding. That is insane! I can’t even imagine how bad this girl must have been. I shudder to think about it.
When it comes to things you wish you knew or did before getting engaged, the best looking ring, making crazy wedding plans, or hooking up with more people is one thing, but being treated right is a whole other thing. Everybody wants to be treated right; I think that goes without saying. So you would think that being treated right by your fiancé would be a given. However, if you’re reading this article, you know that it’s certainly not a given. You can’t blame this person for getting engaged. They were clearly being treated right before all of this. However, once they got engaged, this person’s fiancé showed their true colors. My only question is why is this person still with them? If it’s this bad now, it’s only going to get worse.
9 Mama’s Boy
If he runs every decision by her, if his mom can do no wrong, if he still lives at home, if his mom knows about everything, I’m sorry to tell you — but you have got a mama’s boy on your hands. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the worst thing in the world. You know that a mama’s boy will always respect women. However, not all women want to marry one. Case in point: the person in this next whisper confession. I’m not really sure how this person didn’t realize they were dating a mama’s boy after so long. Nevertheless, at least they realized it when they did. Yes, this person may have wasted two years of their life, but at least it wasn’t five years or even ten years. You have to put things in perspective.
8 Can’t Have Kids
It’s one thing to find out that your fiancé doesn’t want to have kids, but it’s a whole other thing to find out that your fiancé can’t have kids. At least if your fiancé doesn’t want to have kids, there is always that slight chance that they can change their mind and decide to want to have kids later. However, if your fiancé can’t have kids, that is final. To be honest, I can’t blame this person for wishing that their fiancé had told them this earlier. That’s a pretty big bombshell if you ask me. However, I certainly don’t think that not being able to have kids should be a deal breaker. There is always alternatives. There is adoption or even having a surrogate. There is always hope.
7 The Prenup
I hate to break it this person, and to everyone else for that matter, but if you ask your fiancé to sign a prenup, there will always be a problem. It’s sort of a catch 22 situation. The only reason you ask someone to sign a prenup is because you want to protect yourself in case the marriage doesn’t work out. However, by having a prenup, it kind of says that you think the marriage might not work out. If you truly love someone, you aren’t marrying them for their money, so if your fiancé asks you to sign a prenup, your fiancé could be insulted by that. There is never a good scenario when it comes to prenups. If only this person realized that before they got engaged.
6 Maiden Name
This is probably one of the most overlooked things when it comes to things you wish you knew before getting engaged. Most people assume that after you get married, the woman will naturally just take her spouse’s last name. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s 2017 and these things should no longer be assumed. And what is the big deal if this person adds it to their last name? Why should that not be good enough for their spouse? And while we’re at it, what does it matter if they change their last name at all? How does that diminish the love that they have for their spouse? Unfortunately, it seems like these days, every single thing needs to be discussed before you get engaged.
5 Uncle Sam Wants You
First things first: I want to start by commending this person for joining the army to serve their country. Now, having said that, my first question here is how did neither of these two know about this? How did this person not know their fiancé was joining the army? And conversely, how did this person not tell their fiancé they were joining the army? That sort of decision doesn’t really seem like one that might slip someone’s mind. That’s a pretty big life-changing decision. It is indeed a very big deal, so I can’t even imagine how something like this wasn’t discussed beforehand. I would hate to imagine that these two would call off their engagement over this. Hopefully, this person will adjust to the military lifestyle or do what makes them happiest.
4 Evolution Vs. Creationism
I would just like to put a disclaimer that I am not trying to start any kind of science/religious war. Nevertheless, the theory of evolution is pretty much agreed on by everyone — including all of the scientific community. Moreover, this is definitely another example of how the hell do these two people not know this about one another before they got engaged? If you believe in evolution and your partner believes in creationism, this isn’t something where it “may be” an issue, this is something where it definitely will be an issue.
If you are engaged to someone, it’s safe to say that you have known them for good amount of time and you know a lot about them. So how did these two not know this about each other? I can only hypothesize, but maybe we should perform an experiment.
3 Pregnancy And Trust
Where do I even begin with this next one? If you are pregnant with someone’s baby, you more likely than not, trust that person. If you are engaged to someone, you most likely trust that person, too. So why now, does this person think that they can’t trust their fiancé enough to marry him? This doesn’t appear to make any sense, whatsoever. At one point did this person start to feel that their fiancé was not trustworthy? Was it before they got pregnant? Was it before they got engaged? If so, why did they stick it out with them this far? Trust is the foundation for any healthy relationship, so if there is no trust, there is no relationship. If you can’t trust someone, you certainly shouldn’t marry them.
2 Not Enough
If you accept your significant other’s marriage proposal, chances are you love them and you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with that person. However, of all the things people wish they knew before getting engaged, loving someone enough to get married would probably never cross your mind. Normally, you would think that loving someone would be the one and only reason you would need to convince yourself to marry someone. However, for this next person, love doesn’t seem to be enough. What more does this person need? Despite whatever difference you and your fiancé could have, the one thing that really matters is if you both love each other. Hopefully, this person finds what they are looking for, or works on communicating with their partner to get back on track.
I actually feel bad for this girl. Yes, I’m happy that she got engaged, but I’m upset she never got to live out her lesbian experience. If your one big regret is about getting engaged and not having had a lesbian experience, then it must be pretty damn important, don’t you think? If this is so important to this Whisper confessor, then they should probably have a long conversation with their future hubby about it. Perhaps he's an open-minded guy, or perhaps this is a sign that she's maybe not ready to be engaged.
All I'm saying is, we all have tiny regrets in life. And being engaged does not mean she can't live her fullest life. So if she needed to experiment with girls before getting married, all she'd have to do is communicate with her fiance. Hopefully he's cool with it.