Whisper Confessions: 15 Moms Who Were Too Thirsty AF For Their Own Good

In: WTF
Whisper Confessions: 15 Moms Who Were Too Thirsty AF For Their Own Good

Dating as a single mom ain’t easy; dating as a married woman ain’t easy either. Heck, dating in general is no walk in the park. Well, actually, sometimes it is. Anyways, the point is, dating today is much different than when our parents had to do it. However, some of our parents do still date… or start dating again.

These days, moms are also privy to the ways of our new millennial hookup culture. They’ve navigated around “situationships,” and have even ghosted people when necessary.

For some, the idea of their moms “hooking up” with guys would make them more than a little red in the face. But hey, who hasn’t been embarrassed by their parents at least once in their lives? It’s kind of their job.

It’s really more embarrassing when you fear bringing your new boyfriend home because you think your mom will try to jump his bones in the upstairs bathroom.

Yes, these things happen. Don’t believe us? Check out these Whisper confessions from the kids of thirsty mamas. That’s right, the thirst is real. The thirst is real AF.

15. Catfisher

Via Whisper

For those of you who have been living under a rock, “Catfishing” is when you use a photo of a more attractive person in order to lure potential suitors online. Most people who have tried online dating are well aware that this problem exists. Clearly, even moms know about it.

We’re all for women, with or without kids, dating, hooking up, pretty much doing whatever they want, but no one, and we mean no one should “catfish” anyone. It’s just not nice, mom.

Apparently, this term came about because fishermen would put catfish in with cod to “nip at their tails and keep them active during overseas transport in order to produce more lively and fresh meat.”

Interesting. See, moms are just trying to stay active while they search for more lively meat.

14. Hard at work

Via Whisper

Okay, this could definitely be awkward — for everyone involved. However, we could be taking this the wrong way. Maybe it’s not what it looks like. She could just be trying to butter up the real breadwinner here. Dad’s boss is the one who is technically paying her mortgage, after all, and mama didn’t raise no fool.

But lots of questions come to mind after reading this confession. Where’s dad when this is happening? Is he aware? Maybe he’s in on it. Maybe she’s not flirting at all and it really is just a ploy to help get her husband a raise. Or maybe, just maybe, dad’s boss is just ridiculously hot and mom simply can’t control herself. Either way, it must be super embarrassing to sit through at the company BBQ.

13. Stranger things have happened

Via Whisper

Here at TheThings, we don’t like to judge. Our motto: do you and whatever makes you happy. Ain’t no shame in your game. You want to sleep with a total stranger? As long as you are both consenting adults, we have no problem with it. Neither do most people for that matter.

However, one has to wonder, are you advertising this? Just because you have no shame, doesn’t mean your kids don’t feel it for you. It’s a bit weird that your kids know just how promiscuous you really are. Usually people who sleep around that much have ways of keeping those things somewhat private… especially from young impressionable minds.

Even though we don’t judge you for doing your thing, your kids probably do.

12. Whaaaaaa?

Via Whisper

Wait… what? No. Wait. Did that come out right? Hold on. What? Anyone else left confused by this one?

We’re all about being a judgment free zone here, but this is so wrong on so many different levels, literally, any which way you look at it. First off, it’s weird and gross to be flirting with your son in law and quite possibly the father of your grandchildren — talk about an odd Thanksgiving dinner — but to openly suggest that your daughter flirt with your husband? As the kid said, “ew.” Obviously, if the husband is also her father that would be beyond disgusting, and illegal in some areas, but regardless, even to allow your daughter to flirt with her stepfather is just plain gross too.

11. Worry wart

Via Whisper

As they say, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” It’s a sad, sad cycle. Stereotypically speaking when it comes to cheating spouses, most people think it’s the husband who would be the adulterer. However, as this Whisper confession proves, wives have been known to cheat on their husbands too. It is extremely unfortunate that the children are aware of it though.

Maybe your just a flirtatious individual, which is perfectly fine, but obviously since you’ve stepped outside of the marriage before, flirty signals can more often than not, be taken the wrong way — especially if your kids are witnessing this. Maybe tone it back a bit when you give the pizza delivery guy a nice tip, or maybe you shouldn’t be asking the pool guy to reapply your SPF. Just a suggestion.

10. Zero f*cks given

Via Whisper

Okay, it is getting harder and harder not to judge some of these thirsty AF moms. There are some things that should be sacred. You know, like marriage. It’s one thing to be sleeping with someone who’s married and you were unaware of this little tid bit, because wedding bands do easily come off. However, if you are knowingly sleeping with a man whose wife is staying up at home wonder what she did wrong, well then that’s just f*cked up.

Then on top of that, what kind of example does that set for the children? Even though we all know marriage is a crapshoot that has a fifty percent chance of ending in divorce, we still like to instil some good old-fashioned values — like to uphold the sanctity of marriage.

9. My idol

Via Whisper

Aw, well isn’t that the sweetest thing? Some kids grow up emulating their parents. They want to be like them in so many ways. They want to cook like them, dress like them, work like them, but then others grow up idolizing their mom’s flirting skills. Now that’s something to be proud of.

This seems to be one of the only Whisper confessions from a kid that wasn’t mad about how thirsty their mom is. This kid gets it. It is cool that your mom still has game after all these years. It’s nice to know some skills aren’t lost, even after parenthood. Hopefully she took out a pad and paper in the store and started taking notes so she can grow up and be a pro at flirting like her obviously hot mama.

8. Never trust a MILF

Via Whisper

It’s awkward enough to bring your boyfriend home to meet your parents without a flirtatious mother to worry about. What’s truly sad is that this kid is unsure that her mother wouldn’t sleep with her boyfriend. Saying “I think” doesn’t lead us to believe she has much faith in her. Granted, you should probably trust your boyfriend not to sleep with your mother either. After all, like the saying goes, “it takes two to tango.”

One must wonder what “acting hot” means in this scenario, though. Is she walking around the house half naked in front of him? Or does she simply ask him to reach things off the top shelf and open tight fitting jars? Because sometimes having a man around the house comes in handy.

7. Crop tops and skinny jeans

Via Whisper

Age is just a number, right? Or a state of mind, which is what people say as they get older. So, technically “dressing age appropriate” could be subjective.

However, it is understandable that a young woman in her early twenties would be a bit embarrassed of her middle aged mama wearing clothes from Forever 21 and H&M, but in comparison to what some of these other moms do, you should consider yourself lucky.

A forty-five year-old woman dressing like a teenager is the equivalent of a forty-five year-old man going out and buying a sports car. It’s called a mid-life crisis, girl. You should be lucky you don’t have to worry about your mom sleeping with your boyfriend, and besides, if your forty something year old mom can still rock a crop top… more power to her.

6. Time consuming

Via Whisper

This is just sad. Not because mom is sleeping with different dudes, but because her priorities are so out of whack. Go ahead and get your freak on, we’re all human with basic needs… but get them met in your spare time. Don’t take time away from your kids to do so. They obviously know that you care more about your sexual escapades than you do about spending time with them.

Everyone has a busy life, especially single moms. Keeping a set of kids clothed, fed and healthy takes a lot of work. We feel for you single mamas out there, we really do. However, it’s one thing to keep your kids alive, and it’s another to be a parent. This poor kid is so clearly in need of some of mom’s attention. Try not going to happy hour next Thirsty Thursday and watch Finding Dory with your little ones instead, your kids will appreciate it and everybody loves Ellen.

5. Do it for the Snap

Via Whisper

But was it on Snapchat? Those things disappear after a day, right?

Isn’t it weird to witness your parent doing something they tell you not to do? Most moms aren’t fully aware of modern dating and the technology involved with it. So it is actually pretty cool that this mom even knows how to take a selfie. But then again, doesn’t she know “the Internet is forever”? We’re always told to be so careful with what we post and send people. Maybe she’s a part of the “do as I say, not as I do” club of parents. We hear there’s a secret handshake…

I guess she’s not too concerned if her kids wind up seeing the naked photos if they ever go public, seeing as how the kids already know they are out there… somewhere in the cloud. Whatever the hell that means.

4. Everyone knows

Via Whisper

The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one. Looks like mom is on step one. That’s not to say being thirsty is necessarily a problem, but you know moms thirst needs to be quenched if literally everyone in her life is well aware of it.

In situations like this, it would probably be best if your kids were clueless about your romantic rendezvous in order to avoid awkward meet-ups with potential suitors. Who are we kidding? This mom doesn’t want romance or a suitor, she just wants some sex.

Kids, if you didn’t already know, moms are human too and mostly all adult humans have needs and like those needs to be met. But yeah, that’s an awkward scenario to be in, we feel for you too. No one wants to know that about the person that gave them life.

3. Shame, shame

Via Whisper

Kid, buck up. It’s 2017, this type of family dynamic is way more common than it used to be, and people don’t look down upon it like they used to either. Things happen. Not all families are the picture perfect ideal — 2.5 kids, white picket fence, a cat and a dog. Actually, most aren’t. Real life families are messy and complicated. Yours is obviously no different.

We highly doubt that the love you have for your siblings is dependent upon who their father may be.

Granted, I can understand why mom sleeping around would be a little embarrassing, but hey, she’s an adult. And seeing as how you’ve been kept alive all these years and have access to the Internet and what not, she’s clearly doing something right.

2. Liar, liar pants on fire!

Via Whisper

That’s a really tough spot to be put in. You know what your mom has done was wrong, but she doesn’t know you know. Geesh, this all sounds like a really lame episode of Jerry Springer.

From the way it sounds, mom’s “soon to be ex” is not this kids father, but still. It seems as if this kid feels bad for moms new ex husband. Do you confront her about? Or just go about pretending you don’t know?

Either way, totally awkward situation to be put in. If and when she starts bad mouthing him, like ex’s inevitably do, it must be incredibly difficult to hide the massive eye roll you’re giving her because you know it’s a bunch of bullshit.

Poor kid, poor guy, they obviously didn’t realize how thirsty moms get down.

1. Wow

Via Whisper

Just wow. TheThings is officially judging this particular mama. It’s one thing to harmlessly flirt, it’s another to actually follow through and sleep with the guy, especially if that guy is a much younger boy, who happens to be spoken for… by your daughter.

One has to wonder though, how bad is this kids taste in guys that she picked a dude that would actually sleep with her mom? And, or, how hot is her mom that he wanted to? Regardless, no one wants to sit down with her mom and compare, “Oh, he didn’t do it like that with me.” Gross.

This one takes the Thirsty Mom Whisper Confession Cake. And you thought your mom was bad? After reading this, we all should go hug our moms… or at least give them a call, they like that.

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