It was either Rosie O'Donnell or Greek philosopher Plato who said that necessity is the mother of invention, and while we don't think they're wrong, we do think they're only half right. We contend that laziness also breeds invention, because couch potatoes are always on the lookout for innovations and hacks that make life easier. As human beings, we are all inherently lazy. Like a raging river, we're going to take the path of least resistance because why spend our time working hard when we could be hardly working instead? Still, just because we're all a big bunch of do-nothings doesn't mean that we're all artful, too. Au contraire!
Most people are lazy, but only a small fraction of that population can boast cleverness, too. Lots of lazy people lose their TV remote, but only one or two out of ten will fashion a crude grabby stick out of nearby pens and rulers in order to reach it without getting up. Does that make sense? Ah, well. Forget our analogy, we've got a better way of showing everyone what inventive inactive innovation looks like. Check out these 20 people and try not to be impressed. Sure, they may be lazy, but we can't deny they're clever!
Some people think laziness is all about avoiding work, but we don't think that's the case at all. Speaking from personal experience, laziness requires a lot of planning and forethought. It's not like these people wake up one day and decide to phone it in for the rest of their lives. We mean, yeah, that is pretty much the gist of it, but in recognizing that one doesn't want to do any more than the bare minimum, they also have to take measures to ensure the things in their lives that need to still get done, in spite of the fact that they don't want to do them.
For instance, this girl knows that keeping her peeps updated on her various social media accounts is an important and worthwhile undertaking, but she also knows that deep down, she's not always going to feel like giving it 110-percent every single day. There will be times when she doesn't want to look "on fleek" as the kids say. There will be days when she doesn't want to look fab because she'd rather kick back and relax, and that's why she took the clever precaution of taking photos ahead of time. See? So smart!
Oh, snap, yes she did. We don't live on the second story of our apartment building, and we've never lived in a two-story house (except for that one with all the possibly haunted dolls in the attic, but we don't think that counts), so we've never had to worry about how one is supposed to retrieve their pizza when it arrives. However, though this has never been a personal problem, it is one that we've oft pondered. Well, now, at long last, we have an answer to that age-old conundrum.
We know everyone thinks these iPhones and tablets and stuff are amazing, and we wouldn't disagree, but let's not allow our admiration of these pricey gadgets to blind us to the magnificence of lowly innovations such as these. This yarn pizza elevator is simplistic, and therein lies its beauty. It doesn't take a real genius to figure out how to rig up something like this, but it does take a lazy genius, and that's exactly what this girl is. Others may shake their heads at the thought of being so inactive as to stooping to this in order to avoid going downstairs, but we say more power to this girl for living her, and our, dream.
We're personally offended by this. Yeah, sure, it's a good idea. But why didn't we think of this? Granted, we've never had a basement, and, again, we've never lived in a house with stairs, so technically we guess we've never had occasion to dream up a, what did that lady call it? A "soda can chute"? Yeah, well, we guess we've never really needed one, but still, this is too cool for school. Imagine being able to transport soda cans downstairs, but, like...without going down the stairs. Radical, right? We can hardly believe we're saying it.
But soda cans aren't the only cans that can be sent down this chute. Cans of pinto beans, cans of creamed corn, cans of Chef Boyardee brand raviolis, canned tamales—the possibilities are endless, here!
One of these days we're going to have our dream house with the staircase, and then we'll install one of these. It will be the very first thing that we do, too, before we even move all of our furniture in and start unpacking boxes. Then, and only then, will we know that we've finally won at life. Maybe some people would call this lazy and unnecessary. But we're calling it amazing and ingenious.
We like a clean house and we like it when all of the chores are done and we can rest easy, but the thing is, we don't actually like cleaning the house and doing the chores. However, we do enjoy the resting easy part, that's for dang sure, and when we see a chance to half-backside the stuff we have to do so that we can rush right through to the kicking back and relaxing, we'll do it. We'll do it so fast, your head will spin on your neck like a top. That's going to look weird. You should do something about that.
We're lazy to the core, so we'll actually work harder in an effort to avoid work. Makes no sense, we know, but there you have it. In the time that it took this person to turn on their printer, Google "stainless steel sink pictures", locate an image that resembled their own kitchen sink, turn the printer back on because it timed out and shut off, print this image and set it in the sink, they could easily have just washed the bowl and spoon that we see peeking out from under that paper. But, we guess that's just not how lazy people roll.
You ever hear your coworkers and your friends talking about having "fun in the sun"? It's insufferable, isn't it? Gosh, we can't stand it! Why is the sun the be all, end all? Fun in the sun, that doesn't sound like a good time, that sounds like an oxymoron! We mean, have you ever been in the sun? That thing is hot, and not hot in the good, attractive way, we're talking temps, here.
The sun is sweltering, and maybe you guys feel differently, but we're the kind of people who can't enjoy themselves when they're all sweaty and gross.
Kids most especially are all about having fun in the sun, and since parents are all about making sure their kids have a good time, that means they have to be all about having fun in the sun, too, even if they really don't think the sun is all that conducive to having fun. But, we have some great news for you, couch potato parents. Thanks to this lazy bones' contribution to sloth innovation, it is now possible for you moms and dads who like to sit on the sidelines to sit on the sidelines while still engaging with your spawn. Hooray for rope!
What? You mean you're still paying for glasses? Pfft! Some kind of rube you are. Nah, fam. You don't want to pay for vision correction. That's all one big conspiracy funded by a cult of eye-loathing extremists. The government doesn't want you to know about this, but these guys, they're bent on taking the money out of every hard working person across this nation—and even the world—and they're doing that by tricking us all into thinking we can't see. You may not be nearsighted or farsighted at all, and you may not even have glaucoma. That's right. It's all a sham.
Glasses and contacts? Waste of money. Most people have 20/20 vision, it's just that all of the anti-eyesight propaganda that has leeched into their psyches via subliminal advertising has led them to believe they don't have the ability to vision. If you really believe in yourself, you can see whatever you want to see. But to help you see stuff in the meantime, toss out all of your visions correction nonsense and just use a rubber band to secure a magnifying glass to your face. This is cheaper, it's less efficient, plus it allows you to be lazy and clever all at once.
Up until now, you non-couch potato, active people have probably been sitting in your swivel office chairs in your cubicles at work on your lunch breaks, looking at these pictures, feeling all smug, telling yourselves, "Ugh! I would *never* do something so lazy as the things these people have done! I'm too smart for that!" Well, we would just like to take this opportunity to tell you that you're not as smart as you thought—at least you're not if you haven't been filling your many watering cans up in this manner.
This watering can fountain is the height of lazy life hacks, plus it's aesthetically pleasing. You can't beat this.
Here we were, filling up our watering cans one by one like some kind of moron, meanwhile Mr. Super Smooth is over here, making gravity work to his advantage. Gah! We feel like such dunces! Think of all of the time we could have saved over the years that we instead spent filling up watering cans one at a time! Oh, if only we could get all of those lost moments back. Think of all of the things we could do, but wouldn't because, again, we're super lazy and we just don't feel like it right now.
Remember a few minutes back when we said that laziness takes a lot of planning and is actually hard work? Yeah, well, we're standing by that statement, but you know? Sometimes being lazy can be all fun and games, too! Which is awesome because just because we don't want to do anything doesn't mean we don't want to have fun. What's the point in life if you can't enjoy yourself and fit a few giggles into your day before the sun goes down? Laziness is life, but enjoyment is also life. We can have it both ways if we wanna.
At one point does something stop being just a lazy thing that you do in order to avoid work and start being a life hack? It seems like a pretty fine line, but it's definitely there. Let's face it, this guy could have just gone out to the tool shed, grabbed a ladder and a spray bottle and gotten this job done the old-fashioned way, but he didn't. With doing the bare minimum in mind, he tackled this issue the way any lazy genius would. He grabbed his Super Soaker 3000 and he put that de-icer in that humongous satellite like the champ he is. We're impressed.
A friend of ours really loves convertibles. That's her thing, and it's been her lifelong goal to get one once she felt financially secure enough to do so. Shortly after graduation, she got a job with a video game developer and had to move to Seattle. Well, as anyone with a kindergarten level knowledge of the world knows, Seattle is a rainy city. The sun hardly ever comes out up there, and even when it does, it can still be raining at the same time. She thought she was going to have to give up her dream of owning a convertible, but we bet she'll change her mind once she sees this.
At last, people in the midst of a mid-life crisis will be able to artificially inflate their egos by driving with the tops down, even during bad weather.
We mean, sure, our friend is going to be so stoked when she finds out all she has to do to enjoy a convertible in Seattle is buy an umbrella along with it. But think about what wonderful news this innovation is for the men and women out there with the polo shirts and the visor hats who are having an existential crisis. They're going to love this!
Hm. We can't tell if the person behind this picture was faced with trying to heat up their, what is that, a tart? A hand pie? Well, whatever. We can't help but wonder if they're heating it up on their computer charger because the microwave in the break room went out, or if they're just too lazy to get up and walk the twelve feet over there. Either way, though, we're impressed by how clever they are in a fix. It would never have occurred to us to do this. And, granted, we're not geniuses or anything, but we're definitely as lazy as they come.
Look, you can call this person lazy if you want, and if you do, you're definitely not wrong. But you can't deny that what this person did was clever. Plus, now, since they're heating their food up via computer charger, they don't have to get up from their computer, meaning they can get more done at work. So, really, in a roundabout way, by being lazy when it comes to their snack, they're actually being less lazy when it comes to their jobs. Always thinking, those lazy people. And it's a good thing they are, too, since they don't do much of anything else.
If you can't summon the energy to roll over and step the four feet down to the floor, then you're a lazy bones. We're looking at the lazy rulebook right now, and it says so in here, so it's not like we're just making crap up. We realize the only time of the day you're typically going to have to get out of bed is first thing in the morning, AKA the time of day when you have the least amount of energy to do anything. But if you can't do that, you're in a poor state.
Still, it's a lot easier to get up on the right side of the bed when there's a slide involved.
All these years, we figured we weren't getting enough sleep when, in reality, the problem wasn't that we weren't catching enough Z's, it was just that we were waking up incorrectly. Folgers was wrong. The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's getting to slide into a new day. When you treat the world like a playground, that has to have a positive effect on your life and your mindset in general. Sure, this is lazy, but it's also fun, so *shrugs*
Back in our day (which was, like, the '90s and early 2000's) if we needed something, we couldn't just quickly whip up something on the 3D printer that would solve all of our problems. Half the time, the stuff that we needed we didn't realize we needed it because it didn't exist yet, and the other half the time we had to rely on our parents picking up the thing that we needed for us when they went grocery shopping, as we spent the majority of our time in school and were, therefore, unable to make our own purchases. Also, we had no job and no money, so that was also a problem.
What we're trying to say is that, back in our day, if you didn't have something that you needed, then you just grinned and bore it. You made do with what you had, and while these days, some people would say that this elderly gentleman's bungee cord in place of real suspenders antics stems from his laziness, we think he was just trying to avoid a trip to Target. And if that's the case, then you can't tell us that you haven't been in that position. We're giving him a break. He did his best.
We wish we'd never seen this. Don't get us wrong, we think this is amazing. We'd like nothing more than to shake hands with the clever mind who thought this up. Putting the milk in the cookie tray. Forget Edison's light bulb and Einstein's whole E = mc2 nonsense. This here is an invention that's truly revolutionary. Now, instead of transporting our Chips Ahoy! from the bag to the glass of milk, we can save all of that valuable cookie eating time by cutting the distance between the cookie and the milk in half. Amazing!
We're all over this business like stink on a monkey, but we still wish we had never witnessed this.
Now, we know what you're thinking. Why in the world, you're wondering, would we want to erase the memory of the biggest innovation in cookies and milk history from our minds? Well, we'll tell you why. It's because we don't need this kind of power. Now that we know that we can do this, we inevitably will, and that means it's only a matter of time before we go up a pants size, and we can't afford to buy a whole new wardrobe, okay? Besides, shopping and being lazy don't go hand in hand.
We love all of these gadgets that we have at our disposal nowadays, but if we had to make one complaint about them it's that they don't carry their own weight! Yeah, being able to converse with people who are thousands of miles away via a tiny, battery-powered rectangle in our hand is amazeballs. But there's going to come a point in time when said rectangle runs out of battery power, which means it's going to have to be charged, which means you're going to have to set it near an outlet.
Now, all by itself, that sounds like small potatoes. But here's the thing: that's not all. See, sometimes the only outlet available for you to charge your phone with doesn't have a convenient setting onning surface around it. That means you have to rough it. The non-lazy among us would just rummage around until they found a stool or a box to place their phone on. But the couch potato? They'll come up with something like this. 'Course, we could avoid this problem altogether if humans had a third hand. But, then again, that would look pretty silly—as opposed to this, which definitely does not look silly. In fact, it's actually quite dignified.
Okay, okay, fine. So maybe this person is a lazy son or daughter of a gun for wheeling their bins out to the curb via their car, but just hear us out. Look, some people have really long driveways. We went to school with a kid whose driveway was a mile long. A mile long! We all called him Mile Driveway Dirk in honor of his lengthy driveway. Well, okay, no we didn't because that's a really lame nickname. But the fact remains. Some driveways are long, and not everyone wants to walk that far. So sue us, why don't you? Gee whiz. Lay off!
You can criticize this person for laughing in the face of physical exercise, but we could easily see ourselves doing the same thing, and we bet most people could, too.
Besides, if you were running late for work and you had to get the cans out before the truck got to your subdivision, but you didn't have enough time to run them out there and make it to your car in time, then this is just a no-brainer. Also, this is a great alternative for anyone who is not a big fan of walking or rolling heavy, smelly things long distances.
As for us, we're responsible lazy people. When it comes to major big deals, like projects for work or operating heavy machinery or, you know, things like that, where if we goofed up, the results could be disastrous, we never mess around. We always put our entire focus on the things that matter so we don't make any mistakes. But when it comes to everyday stuff, like folding laundry and cooking supper and washing the cars, we couldn't care less. We will half-posterior those until the cows come home. We ain't even tryn'a care 'bout that.
Having to pull over the get gas falls into the humdrum, super boring stuff category, so, needless to say, we get really annoyed when we have to do it. But, do it we have to, then again, what we don't have to do is be happy about it. And we'll tell you something else, if you think we're getting out of our car to pump the gas, then you're dreaming. From now on, we won't be exiting our vehicle to get gas. What we'll do instead is pull up uncomfortably close to the gas pump, somersault into the back seat and get the job done from there. Take that, physical activity!
When you think about it, this woman riding a segue while pushing her infant along in a stroller is essentially the same thing as when that one person rolled their bins to the curb while driving, and we don't know how to feel about that. It was one thing when the thing that was being rolled carelessly was a bunch of smelly refuse in a can, but this is a baby, we're talking about. This is a tiny, fragile human! What if she loses control of her ride and something goes awry? What if she can't keep a grip on the stroller handle and it gets away from her?
Clearly, this mom is not concerned with all of the things that could go incredibly not right in this situation.
Nobody likes having to exert themselves physically, so we see why this mom would choose to segue-stroller down the sidewalk. But if she insists on using the segue, maybe it would be safe if she used one of those baby backpacks that you strap on so you can wear your infant on the front of your torso. Also, helmets and knee and elbow pads for everyone involved wouldn't go amiss, either. Being lazy is no excuse for abandoning safety.
If we didn't have to wash dishes and put them away, do you even know how much time we could save? Collectively speaking, that's hours that we could be spending doing literally anything else. Why, with that amount of time, we could put our mind toward solving the many mysteries of the universe, like why do bananas exist? Why is a giant ball in space with a name like "Uranus" allowed to be a planet when a planet with a far superior name such as Pluto is shunned by the scientific community? And, lastly, what is the meaning of life? LOL! Just kidding! If we had any more spare time, we wouldn't spend it purposefully. We'd just waste it because we're lazy and that's what we do.
Oh, boy. This definitely won't be good for us. This is just like that cookies and milk hack all over again! We don't know how in the world we're supposed to stay out of the kitchen now that we have these two invaluable lazy tactics at our disposal. We can't wait to get home, fold some aluminum foil into a bowl, pour ourselves a big bowl of Frosted Flakes cereal and get back to doing what we love most: nothing.
Before you go into your "walking's soooo good for you" spiel, listen. This guy already knows how healthy it is to walk around instead of sit on his huge machine that looks like a bumper car and a tank had a baby, alright? He gets it. And, we'll have you know that he bought himself a Fitbit to keep track of his daily steps, so how do you like them apples? His new fitness bracelet has been such a help by allowing him to set personal goals and meet them every day.
How many steps was he supposed to take today, you ask? Twelve. And he's already met his goal and then some, so we think he's earned a ride on his Little Tikes looking floor buffer.
Besides, walking around is enough of a chore as it is, do you seriously mean to tell us that you expect this man to walk around and hold a leaf blower at the same time? Get out of town with your physical exercise and muscle workout nonsense! We won't hear of it! If he wants to ride his little remote control car around the parking lot while blowing the leaves around, you let him. He's done nothing to hurt you. Leave him alone.
We once spent two hours trying to change the time on a digital wristwatch. Ultimately, we were unsuccessful. So unsuccessful that the wristwatch broke. That might have had something to do with the fact that we threw it across the room into a wall, causing it to shatter to pieces. Still not sure. Anyway, we know how hard it can be to change the time on a clock, but again, that was a digital wristwatch. This here's an analog wall clock.
Analog clocks aren't too hard to change the time on, which means this sign that says "-1 hour" really takes the laziness cake in this, our unofficial and previously unmentioned "which of the things in this lineup is the laziest" contest. Should've said something about that earlier, sorry about that. Don't know why we didn't, we guess it's just because, well. See, we have this tendency to get off track sometimes, we'll be talking about one thing and then, before we even know what's happened, we'll be talking about something else, completely forgetting about what we were talking about originally, and...oops. Well, anyway, the point is, this sign is super lazy, probs the laziest thing we've seen in this lineup, for real, and that's coming from us.